I don't need a "noodle"...geez

I have always been a bit embarrassed about my swimming abilities. I had swimming lessons when I was little so I know the basics but I am just not a good swimmer. In fact I get nervous when I can’t touch. I think the main reason for that is in a high school swimming class we were required to spend the entire class in the deep end of the pool. Our teacher was teaching us synchronized swimming. So not only were we treading water the whole time but we also had to do flips and other ridiculous things. For me this was super hard and I felt like I was going to drown right there. If that wasn't bad enough my teacher called me out in front of everyone and asked me if I needed a foam noodle. Now a less prideful individual would have recognized their weakness and would have responded with a grateful yes. I on the other hand responded with an indignant no. Because of this I usually avoid situations that require being a good swimmer.

Little did I know that when I went to Kalahari last Tuesday (for a minister’s retreat) I would be required to showcase my lack of swimming ability. In most water parks the deepest water is waist deep which is easily managed by anyone over 4 feet. That in mind; guess which water slide my brother talks me into going on..... Yep that’s right the one that drops you out into a pool that is 6 ft deep. This water slide is one that you go down with out a tube, at the end of the slide you go through a funnel thing and then it drops you into the pool.

At the top of the slide waiting in line I was getting more and more nervous. Then it was my turn.... dun dun dun. The lifeguard at the top asked me..."can you swim?" I answered with a weak "yes" and he said to,"cross my arms over my chest and cross my legs." At this point I am freaking out on the inside but I sit down and do what he said. I start flying through the dark tube and water is rushing around me. Then the slide flings me out into the funnel. While I am going around the funnel I start trying to stop myself (which I don't think you are supposed to do). Then like in slow motion I start falling out the bottom of the funnel headfirst. Next thing I know I pop up totally disorientated. The lifeguard chick blows her whistle at me so I can find the way out of the pool. I start swimming her way flashing back to the high school class. While I am swimming I start making up excuses for my poor swimming ability. When I finally reach the stairs I am prepared to tell her all my excuses but she reaches out her hand and asks me if I am okay. She didn’t laugh or ridicule me she simply offered a hand out of the pool.

Life frequently dumps us into a deep pool headfirst. We become disorientated and can't find the way out. We are embarrassed about where our lives are at and we start making excuses until someone is kind enough to offer a hand out of the pool.